Have written this almost a year ago…
Today, while I was listening to the conversation taking place between class teacher and parents in the Parents-Teacher Meeting, an interesting conversation took place, between the teacher and a mother.
Maam to mother- “Im highly disappointed when your daughter told me that her mother never appreciates, always rebuke and scold, why is it so?”
Mother- “Actually maam I am working and get exhausted because of the workload there, so when I come back home I am unable to do anything productive, on top of it my kids are naughty and I am left with no option other than freaking out and screaming at them.”
Maam- “I understand it is tough but always screaming and shouting and relieving yourself by pouring your exhaustion on them is bad and destructive, you should hire some helpers at home?”
Mother-“Yes there are but then too….”
(Amidst of all this I was speculating that this lady must be a single parent as her husband was not there with her and I was sympathising with her that she has to manage so much and that too single handedly and I was making dua for her)
But then the teacher said “okay please mention in the diary the occupation of your husband, you missed that entry.” and she smiled and filled it.
My feelings for her changed.
I literally was in a state of angst.
I understand there is no harm in pursuing job and career if a woman wants to and infact under Islam even a woman enjoys greater right when it comes to accountability of her earnings but alhamdulillah that despite giving rights and permitting woman(within shariah limits), Islam encourages and prefers woman on her primary role – MOTHER.
We think and feel ashamed telling people that we after being educated so much from ‘esteemed institutions’ are at home, looking after kids.
But why do we feel bad?
Because the society has instilled this thought in us, “you are liberated if you are independent in your earnings”
All thanks to Capitalism which has even destroyed the beautiful bond between a mother and her children where her priorities are “earning independently” rather raising and culturing her kids.
I wonder how can nurturing and shaping a flesh into a human by transmitting etiquettes and teachings be a lesser job? Or is there any job which equals to this one?
If there is a genuine necessity then it’s okay but chasing the blind race and naming it “independent”, “liberated” is a Zulm (oppression) on these terms.
Salaam to all those mothers including mine who preferred nurturing their young ones over being the capitalistic victim.