I have recently been advised by my beloved ones that I should not advise people if they have not asked for it.
I know, it is quite weird to advise people, especially if they have already taken a decision, and they don’t want to listen to the naseeha, and they don’t want to even consult, let alone consider.
If one gives advise in such a situation then he/she is bound to be humiliated on the face, with words -“Who asked you for your advise, did we ask for it?” “You have created a havoc” and what not?
SubhanAllah! the words hurt.
Almost a month ago, I advised two people upfront, as I know both of them and their personality traits, that they should not be doing a particular thing which will impact many lives around them.
The repercussions of giving such an unasked advise were quite severe. I had to suffer migraines, had to take strong painkillers just because I gave an advise which was for their betterment only BUT was not asked for, from them.
Sometimes, when we dare to do such a task, we face a lot of reactions, even from our near ones, who out of love think that we should consider our mental health and peace as priority and shouldn’t be advising people who are making their own (mis)informed decisions without any need of consulting from the ones who have always thought of their welfare. I understand their concerns for me, and I appreciate to have such people around me, who cares for my peace of mind.
Still after a month of that incident, I literally thought of it all again today, and doubted my personality that why am I such a person, always boarded on unasked advisory?
Yes! I wondered why being good comes with a heavy price of migraines and sufferings?
While I was in the middle of such overwhelming thoughts,
SubhanAllah! I believe it is no co-incidence that I was personally reminded by a dear sister (whom I haven’t met in person yet but is near to me) to join the book club reading session which has already started by then, I joined and read about AbuDhar Al Ghifari (r.a) – the sahaba who spoke the truth and was not afraid of anyone, he (r.a) used to warn people of accumulating wealth, and was not afraid of anyone. People in power didn’t use to ask his (r.a) opinion but he (r.a) was blessed with a tongue which was truthful and not mute.
Perhaps, it was the consequence that he (r.a) lived alone for the rest of his life.
SubhanAllah! Truth comes with a hefty price. If we have the courage to speak the truth then we should also have the courage to bear the repercussions, the consequences, it might be from severe migraines to as big as being alone like Abu Dhar Al Ghifar (r.a), the sahaba who lived alone and died alone.
The all in all point is, if it is clear that WHY are we doing it then the endurance, despite being heavy, will be graceful.
Allah is Al-Lateef – The One Who takes care of minutest things in our lives, He is Subtle. He knows when we need what reminder to remain re-assured of His rehmah.