Alhamdulillah, it has been many years of our marriage, thought of writing something which may benefit someone, by His will.
I am writing this post in general context, it is should be implicit that my post is not meant for the marriages that deal with highly complicated or very serious issues.
Generally, people come to our home, to my husband and to me as well, for taking many counsels on marriage, people somewhere see us as perfect couple 😊
SubhanAllah! No doubt, alhamdulillah we compliment each other, we try to fill the gaps which the other lag behind but we too had our disagreements and even arguments sometimes, the matter has sometimes even reached to the phase where *we both* used to think *sometime*, somewhere that why we got married and it would have been better if we wouldn’t have, literally *we both* sometimes felt claustrophobic in our otherwise cherished domain.
Trust me, this is all very natural, we are humans, we have emotions, even we sometimes err and say what we regret later.
I’m writing all this because I want to highlight the point that even the apparently seemingly couples may have their own issues to handle but what matters that at the end of the day they sort it out gracefully.
Couples who generally help others may themselves need the counsel, one should not fear getting in touch with people who can sort it out amicably and with wisdom, seeking justice on both ends.
I won’t give a big list to do but some simple points to remember often.
When something negative happens, please notice the whispers of shaitan or your own nafs, it will drag you to see everything negative, you will feel as if nothing good has ever come from your spouse.
We need to understand that it is from shaitan, the chief deceiver who wants to shift our focus on negative side only.
Please don’t react or even defend yourself in such state, cool down first,
aren’t we advised in Islam not to react in anger or in haste?
When one is fire the other should be water!
It is indeed tough but quite fruitful.
Don’t forget, you two are His trust for each other under His name, so seek His help and apologize if you had to and if you don’t then at least try to hold the hands.
It is weird to do, but it helps.
Last but not the least, never go to sleep without getting things sorted out.
Ups and downs are part of life and marriage is also a phase of it, even the best of people may sometimes suffer due to misunderstandings or communication gaps, so please speak and talk and communicate in best ways possible.
Marriage is indeed beautiful it teaches us how to love, to care, being compassionate, recognise the let it go stuffs, and how to develop perseverance!
No doubt, one should always give preference to deen while seeking a spouse as it will help in the same frequency of thought process and it will help to be in state of shukr and gratitude to see and notice that how a real mutaqqi, God conscious spouse is himself/herself concerned about many matters as they know well they will be held accountable for that in His sight!
SubhanAllah! Marriage is indeed beautiful, and amazing at many times as well, it is a continuous journey to learn and unlearn many things, it help us to deal with many emotions, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet but if the person you are married to is good then indeed it is like a garment, which makes one comfortable, feel at ease, which protects and safeguard from extremes.
May Allah swt bless us all.